Why High-Achieving Women Need to Stop Optimising Everything
By: Uta Boellinger, BANT Registered Nutritionist www.cannelle.co.uk
When I decided to go back to study at 32 years old I was fascinated by nutrition and how food impacts our body.
During the next 3 years I learned how the human body works, the various components of food (essential fatty acids, amino acids, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, polyphenols etc.), which foods to find which nutrient in and how to optimise your diet depending on your current health, lifestyle and goals.
Sadly one thing we didn’t cover is how optimising someone’s diet and giving them a strict meal plan to follow may impact their mental health, their relationships with others and most importantly their relationship with themselves.
Once I graduated and set up my own clinic I quickly started to notice that something was off in my approach. Whilst women were seeing the desired changes in their bodies by making dietary changes I didn’t like the way they looked at nutrition. It felt like another project on their list and I worried that it was causing them additional stress. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but I knew it didn’t feel right.
I started to ask myself:
Was the fear of eating the wrong foods causing more harm than actually eating said foods? And was adding another supplement protocol, another wellness hack and another thing to have to control perhaps just causing overwhelm and taking women even further away from listening to their own bodies?
Enter my typical client. You know the type. She runs the business, organises the family, remembers everyone’s birthdays, hits the gym, tracks her steps and has probably listened to three podcasts about perimenopause this week.
I always seem to have attracted this client and my guess is that they feel I’m relatable because of my corporate background. Before becoming a nutritionist I worked in financial services for nearly 10 years. I WAS this client.
And honestly I couldn’t be happier because I do believe I’m the best fit for them. Here is why.
The problem with being good at optimisation
The women I work with are often incredibly good at getting things done. They are organised, disciplined, ambitious and used to taking responsibility. If there is a problem, they find a solution.
And this is a brilliant quality to have. It’s probably part of what has made them successful in their careers, businesses and personal lives.
But there is a problem when we start applying the same mindset to our bodies. Because your body isn’t a business.
It doesn’t have KPIs. It doesn’t need quarterly reviews. And there is no point at which you finally get to say, “Right, that’s it. I’m optimised.”
Yet this is increasingly how we approach our health.
We’re told to eat more protein, walk 10,000 steps, lift weights, track our sleep, balance our hormones, reduce inflammation, support our gut, take collagen, optimise our blood sugar, protect our skin and lower our biological age.
None of these things are inherently bad. In fact, many of them are genuinely beneficial. The problem is what happens when they become another list of things we can fail at.
Suddenly, eating well isn’t enough. We need to eat perfectly.
Going for a walk isn’t enough. We need to hit our step target.
Getting a good night’s sleep isn’t enough. We need our sleep score to tell us it was good.
And looking after our bodies isn’t enough. We need to constantly be improving them.
When healthy becomes another form of perfectionism
I’ve worked with women who are already doing so much “right”.
They eat nutritious food. They exercise. They take supplements. They have cut down on alcohol. They are conscious of their protein intake. They know they should be lifting weights. They are trying to sleep more.
And yet they still feel like they’re failing. There is always another thing they should be doing. Another food they should be eating. Another food they should be avoiding. Another supplement that might help. Another podcast telling them something they didn’t know they were supposed to worry about.
This is where I think we need to have a slightly uncomfortable conversation about the wellness industry.
Because there is a huge difference between caring about your health and becoming anxious about your health.
The first can be empowering. The second can become exhausting.
As a nutritionist, I sometimes find myself doing something that would have seemed completely counterintuitive when I first started my career.
I tell my clients to do less. Because sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is stop adding more rules to your life.
Your body doesn’t respond to a business strategy
One of the things I’ve come to understand through working with women is that our bodies don’t always respond in the neat, linear way we’d like them to.
We can eat brilliantly and still have a bad night’s sleep.
We can exercise regularly and still gain weight.
We can take every supplement under the sun and still feel tired.
We can do everything “right” and still experience symptoms, hormonal changes, stress or simply the inevitable changes that come with getting older.
This can be particularly difficult for high-achieving women because we are used to believing that effort produces results.
Work harder. Get better results. Put in more hours. Progress your career. Set a goal. Make a plan. Execute it.
But biology doesn’t work quite like that. Sometimes more isn’t better.
More exercise can become exhausting.
More restriction can mean we’re not eating enough.
More supplements can simply mean more things to think about.
More health tracking can make us less connected to how we actually feel.
And more optimisation can take us further away from the thing we’re supposedly trying to achieve: feeling well.
What if the goal isn’t to become a better version of yourself?
I think this is where my own thinking about nutrition has changed the most. First and foremost I do not want women to be at war with their bodies in the name of health.
I don’t want someone to eat a perfectly “clean” diet if they are terrified of eating a slice of birthday cake with their children.
I don’t want a woman to spend her entire Sunday meal-prepping because she believes that deviating from her plan means she’s failed.
And I don’t want someone approaching their 40s or 50s believing that their body is now a problem that needs to be fixed before it gets any worse.
Of course we should look after ourselves. Of course nutrition matters. Of course strength training, cardiovascular fitness, sleep, protein, fibre and a whole-food diet can make an enormous difference to how we feel and how we age.
But there is a huge difference between doing these things because you value your body and doing them because you don’t like your body as it is.
From optimisation to investment
My own approach to health and longevity has increasingly shifted from optimisation to investment. I strength train because I want to be strong when I’m 60, 70 and 80. I eat plenty of protein because I want to maintain muscle as I age. I prioritise sleep because I want to have the energy to live my life. I eat well because I genuinely enjoy feeling good in my body.
These aren’t punishments. They’re investments in the woman I hope to become. And perhaps that is a healthier way to think about our bodies.
Not as something that needs to be constantly improved, corrected or controlled, but as something we have been given to live our lives in.
Because ultimately, what is the point of being incredibly healthy if the pursuit of health leaves you too anxious, restricted or exhausted to actually enjoy your life?
So, what does success look like?
Perhaps success isn’t having the lowest biological age. It isn’t having the perfect diet, the smallest waist, the highest daily step count or a kitchen cupboard full of supplements.
Perhaps it’s having enough energy to do the things you love. Being strong enough to carry your own suitcase when you’re 75. Being able to go for a long walk with your grandchildren. Eating dinner with friends without analysing every ingredient. Going on holiday without worrying about how you’re going to stick to your diet. Feeling comfortable enough in your own skin that a few extra pounds, a grey hair or a wrinkle doesn’t derail your confidence.
And perhaps most importantly, feeling that your body is on your side rather than something you are constantly fighting against.
I still believe passionately in nutrition. I wouldn’t have spent the last decade studying it, practising it and talking about it if I didn’t.
But I also believe that good nutrition should ultimately give us more life, not more rules.
Your body isn’t a business project.
The real goal is to feel comfortable in yourself and treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Most likely having a healthy body will become a by-product of this.
