Lara Besbrode on Divorce, Reinvention, and Dancing Her Way Through Midlife

By Elif Köse

In a world that often tells women to shrink as they age, Lara Besbrode decided to do the opposite, to expand. After a 30-year career in PR and marketing, a harrowing international divorce, and the onset of menopause, Lara didn’t retreat. She rebuilt. Today, at 56, she’s the founder and CEO of The Matchmaker UK, a globally respected matchmaking agency known for its heart-led, bespoke approach. She’s also become a go-to voice on love, confidence, and reinvention, regularly featured on platforms like BBC, MTV, and Real Housewives of Cheshire.

But it wasn’t always like this.

“I didn’t choose to reinvent. It chose me,” Lara tells me. “I was going through a horrific divorce. The business I had built was no longer viable. I was perimenopausal, exhausted, and questioning everything. But something inside said: this is the pivot. You can break down, or you can break through.”

And that’s exactly what she did.

Starting Over in a Storm

In February 2020, just before the pandemic, Lara woke up with a name in her head: The Matchmaker UK. She bought the domain, mapped out a business plan, and within months had certified as an international matchmaker. By the time the world locked down, Lara was already building.

“I was working 18-hour days while others were baking banana bread,” she laughs. “I had a 10-year-old learning to cook and make me coffee, an older child doing homeschooling… It was all hands on deck. We became a little unit, a team.”

Lara’s background in PR gave her an edge, while other agencies froze, she grew. But it wasn’t easy. She was grieving the loss of her marriage, managing menopause symptoms, navigating remote HRT appointments, and running a household as a single mum of three.

“It was survival mode. But also… there was fire in me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could start again.”

Mirror Moments and the Weight of Becoming

Lockdown was brutal in many ways, physically, emotionally, financially. Lara found herself gaining weight, self-medicating with wine, and spiraling through antidepressants, sleeping pills, and anxiety meds.

“I didn’t love myself enough. That’s the truth. I was using food and alcohol to numb what I didn’t want to feel.”

The turning point came when she saw herself on TV. A media appearance, something that should have been a triumph, became a mirror moment.

“I realised, ‘How can I help others transform if I haven’t transformed myself?’ I knew I had to take radical responsibility.”

Over the next four years, Lara did just that. She lost nine stone, through sheer grit, discipline, and a deep desire to become the healthiest version of herself. No shortcuts. No injections. Just choice after choice after choice.

“It wasn’t about size. It was about integrity. If I was going to lead women, I had to be the example.”

Shuffle Dancing into the Spotlight

For her 55th birthday, Lara’s children gifted her a six-week shuffle dancing course. Two years later, she’s amassed millions of views and inspired thousands of women to move, not just their bodies, but their beliefs about what’s possible after 50.

“I’m not a dancer. I had two left feet. But I showed up. I practiced. And I proved to myself,  and to anyone watching, that it’s never too late to try something new.”

She’s now nearly 700 days alcohol-free, runs a multi-award-winning business, and radiates joy online. But the journey wasn’t linear, it was layered with grief, rage, exhaustion, and healing.

Midlife Isn’t a Crisis, It’s a Catalyst

Lara’s story speaks directly to women who feel stuck after divorce, menopause, or career loss. The message? You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

“I hear from women every day who feel invisible. Their kids have left home. Their relationships have ended. They don’t know who they are anymore. And I say: good. Because now, you get to choose.”

She’s passionate about challenging the narrative that women over 50 aren’t valuable. In fact, she says, they’re more employable than ever, more stable, more experienced, and free from the pressures of early motherhood.

“You might not earn what you did at 30. But you’re wiser now. And wisdom is currency. If you don’t have qualifications, get them. Or lean into the university of life. Either way, stop telling yourself you’re too old. It’s a lie.”

The Power of Radical Responsibility

When I ask Lara what changed everything, she doesn’t hesitate.

“Radical responsibility. I stopped blaming my ex, the menopause, the pandemic, my finances, my mental health. I looked in the mirror and said: “this is mine to shift.”

That mindset became her fuel. No victimhood. No waiting to be rescued. Just one empowered decision after another.

“My life isn’t easy. I’m still a single parent. I still have to exercise, manage stress, and make conscious food choices. But I’m in control now. And that’s freedom.”

Her Message to Every Woman Reading This

As we near the end of our conversation, I ask Lara one final question, the question I ask every woman I interview for Confidence Magazine:

If every woman in the world could hear you right now,  especially those dimming their light or doubting their worth,  what would you want them to remember?

Her answer is simple. And unforgettable.

“It’s never too late to change.”

“And to quote RuPaul: if you don’t love yourself, how the hell is anyone else going to? I’m completely in love with myself, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that honours the woman I fought so hard to become.”

Lara Besbrode didn’t just survive midlife, she met it head on, danced through it, and emerged more alive than ever. Her story is a reminder that reinvention is not a privilege, it’s a choice.

So if you’re reading this and wondering if it’s too late for you…

The answer, as Lara would say, is a loud, dancing, vibrant: No.