Failing to make progress or be successful
Recently, while taking an online course by my friend Dave Knoderer called Stuck No More: Turning Dreams Into Plans, I came across a term I wasn’t very familiar with — languishing. At first, it sounded like one of those vague emotional states we all experience but rarely name. But once I looked up the definition, I realized this word captured a pattern I had lived with for years without even realizing it. I had no idea there was a name for that foggy in-between space where you’re not unhappy, but not thriving either.
What Is Languishing?
Languishing is a state of mental health that falls somewhere between depression and flourishing. It’s often described as a sense of emotional dullness — like the color has drained from life, leaving everything muted. There’s no full collapse, but there’s also no spark.
You might feel:
- Empty
- Stagnant
- Unmotivated
- Apathetic
- Disconnected from joy
- Unable to move forward even when you want to
Psychologist Corey Keyes has even called languishing “the neglected middle child of mental health.” It tends to go unnoticed because it doesn’t scream for attention the way depression does ,rather, it quietly steals momentum, creativity, and fulfillment.
My Personal Experience With Languishing
I’ve always thought of myself as a successful person, and in many ways, that’s absolutely true. I’ve accomplished most of the goals I set out to achieve. I have:
- six published books
- two decks of inspirational cards
- a thriving corporate career
- global travel
- a family I adore
From the outside, that looks like flourishing. But internally, the picture wasn’t always so bright. Looking back, I can now see how often I allowed myself to become frozen in place, lingering in situations long after my intuition whispered (or shouted!) for me to move on.
I stayed in corporate environments where I faced gender bias and could feel my potential shrinking. I stayed in relationships that I knew weren’t aligned with who I was becoming, hoping something would magically change. Even physically, I would remain still when I knew my body needed movement, activity, and fresh energy. I have spent too much time scrolling on social media, rather than writing the next blog post or article.
Those stuck periods weren’t dramatic — they were subtle, slow, and numbing. That’s what languishing does: it doesn’t break you; it dims you.
And I often wonder: How much more could I have created and experienced if I had recognized languishing for what it was and stepped forward sooner?
How to Know If You’re Languishing
If you’ve been struggling to focus, feeling emotionally flat, or moving through your days like you’re underwater, you may be languishing too. It’s not a failure, it’s a signal. A whisper from your soul that something inside you wants a shift.
Typical signs include:
- Difficulty starting tasks
- Feeling stuck but not sure why
- Loss of enthusiasm for things you once enjoyed
- Going through the motions without true engagement
- Feeling like you’re living on autopilot
- Numbing through distractions, busyness, or habits
What Causes Languishing?
At its core, languishing grows in the absence of mental and emotional well-being. Some common roots include:
Unhealed Emotional Wounds
Old pain, disappointments, or traumas that were never fully resolved can weigh down your present.
Limiting Beliefs
Those quiet but powerful inner voices saying:
“You can’t.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“You’re not ready.”
These beliefs create invisible walls.
Resentment or Unforgiveness
Holding onto anger or judgment keeps your energy tied to the past.
Disconnection from Purpose
When you drift away from meaning, joy, or creativity, you lose the momentum that propels you forward.
Chronic Stress or Overwhelm
Sometimes we are simply too exhausted to flourish, so we flatten our emotional response to cope. The good news? Languishing is not permanent. You can shift it — gently and intentionally.
How to Pull Yourself Out of Languishing
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Start Small
When your energy is low, grand plans feel impossible.
So choose one small, manageable step.
Tiny wins build confidence and momentum.
Even something as simple as a 10-minute walk or clearing one corner of a room can signal your brain: We are moving again.
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Practice Gratitude
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring what’s wrong — it’s about expanding your awareness of what’s right.
When you intentionally notice your blessings, your perspective shifts from scarcity to abundance.
Try listing three things each morning or night.
This simple act begins reawakening your emotional vibrancy.
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Forgive
Forgiveness is not about saying that what happened was okay. It’s about releasing the energetic burden that keeps you tethered to old pain.
Start with yourself — for the times you stayed too long, the risks you didn’t take, or the opportunities you missed.
Then extend that same compassion outward.
A beautiful method for this is Ho’oponopono, the Hawaiian practice of healing through four simple, powerful phrases:
- I’m sorry
- Please forgive me
- Thank you
- I love you
Repeating these words can soften your heart and free your energy.
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Seek Support
You do not have to navigate this alone.
Sometimes what feels like a massive personal challenge can shift with a single insight, a single clearing, or a single supportive session.
I am here for you. Many times, this state of languishing can be transformed with a single InnerSpeak™ session.
When you release the past, the blocks, the wounds, the unconscious patterns — you return to the present moment, where your creativity and joy naturally live.
When you are fully present, no longer pulled off course by old stories, you begin to see your path clearly again. It becomes easier to move forward, to flourish, and to reclaim your inner momentum.
If you feel ready to take that step, you’ll find more details at JeanAdrienne.com.
