You’re Not Behind, You’re in a Liminal Space
Why the in-between phase of your life feels uncertain and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong
There is a phase of life that does not get named often enough. It is not the beginning. It is not the breakthrough. It is not the outcome.
It is the space in between. The point where something has ended or is clearly ending but what comes next has not fully formed yet. There is a word for this.
Liminal. THE Grey
“You are not behind. You are between — and that space is not empty, it is where your next self is being formed.”
A liminal space is a threshold. You are no longer where you were. But you are not fully where you are going.
And for many women, this is the phase that gets misunderstood the most. Because it does not look like progress. It looks like uncertainty.
Why Liminal Space Feels So Uncomfortable
Most of us are not taught how to exist in transition. We are taught how to start. We are taught how to achieve. We are taught how to complete. But we are not taught how to stay present when clarity is not available.
So when life places us in a liminal space, the immediate reaction is often to interpret it as a problem. Something must be off. I should have this figured out by now. Why does everything feel unclear? This is especially true for women who are used to being capable. Used to solving. Used to moving forward with direction.
Liminal space interrupts that pattern. There is no clear next step yet. And without that clarity, it can feel like you are falling behind.
You Are Not Behind, You Are Between
One of the most important reframes I offer women in this phase is this:
You are not behind. You are between. Between identities. Between decisions. Between versions of your life. And that space is not empty. It is active. Even when it looks still on the outside.
What This Phase Actually Looks Like
Liminal space is not always obvious.
You may still be functioning in your daily life. Going to work. Handling responsibilities. Showing up for others.
But internally, something has shifted. What used to feel aligned now feels off. What used to energize you now feels flat. What used to make sense now requires more effort than it should.
There may not be a clear alternative yet. Just the awareness that where you are no longer fully fits. This creates tension. Because the mind wants direction. And the body is asking for space.
The Nervous System Response to “In-Between”
There is also a physical component to this experience. The nervous system prefers predictability. It prefers knowing what is coming next.
So when you enter a liminal space, where the future is not clearly defined, your system may interpret that as instability. This can show up as: overthinking, restlessness, the urge to make quick decisions, questioning yourself more than usual.
These responses are not signs that you are incapable. They are signs that your system is adjusting to uncertainty. And adjustment takes time.
The Urge to Resolve It Quickly
One of the strongest impulses in liminal space is the need to get out of it. To decide something, to move forward, to regain a sense of control.
Not necessarily because the decision is aligned. But because it relieves the discomfort of not knowing. I see this often… Women choose prematurely, just to escape the uncertainty, returning to environments they have already outgrown, taking on commitments that don’t fully fit, and forcing clarity that has not actually developed.
It makes sense. Liminal space is uncomfortable. But rushing it often leads right back to the same internal tension.
What Liminal Space Is Actually Doing
Even though it feels unproductive, liminal space is not passive. It is reorganizing.
It is where old identities loosen, outdated patterns become visible, new preferences begin to surface.
But this process is subtle. It does not announce itself clearly. It happens through small shifts: what you no longer tolerate, what you are less willing to carry, and what you quietly begin to want more of.
Clarity is forming. Just not all at once.
Confidence Without Clarity
We tend to associate confidence with knowing.
Knowing what you want. Knowing what to do. Knowing where you are going. But liminal space asks for a different kind of confidence.
“Real confidence is not built when everything is clear — it is built in the moments you choose to trust yourself without certainty.”
The confidence to remain steady without having all the answers. The confidence to say:
“I don’t know yet and I’m not going to rush that.”
This is not passive, disciplined, it requires restraint, and it requires self-trust.
Staying Connected to Yourself in the In-Between
The most important thing during this phase is not finding the answer.
It is staying connected to yourself.
This means paying attention to:
What drains you now that didn’t before
What feels heavier than it should
What brings even a small sense of relief
These are not final answers. But they are signals. And over time, those signals begin to organize into clarity.
Redefining Progress
In liminal space, progress looks different. It is not always forward movement.
Sometimes it looks like not going back to what you’ve outgrown, not committing to what doesn’t feel right, not forcing answers that are not ready.
This kind of progress is quiet. But it is significant. Because it protects your alignment.
A Practical Way to Move Through It
If you find yourself in a liminal space, simplify your approach.
Instead of trying to figure out everything at once, focus on what is in front of you.
Notice one decision you are trying to force. Pause. Ask yourself:
Do I actually have enough clarity to decide this right now? Or am I trying to relieve discomfort?
If it is the second, allow yourself to wait. Then shift your focus. What feels aligned today? Not long-term. Not five years from now. Today.
This is how clarity builds over time.
The Identity Shift That Happens Here
Liminal space often signals an identity shift the version of you that made past decisions is no longer fully aligned. But the next version of you has not fully taken shape yet.
This is why things feel uncertain. You are not lost, you are in transition.Transition is rarely linear.
Liminal space is not a failure. It is a threshold. You are not behind. You are between. Between who you were and who you are becoming.
And while that space can feel uncomfortable, it is also where the most important internal shifts happen. Clarity will come. But it will not come from forcing decisions.
It comes from staying steady long enough for your internal direction to become clear and that is where confidence becomes real.
Not because everything is figured out, but because you trust yourself while it isn’t.
Bio; Achea Redd is an author, speaker, and certified mental health coach known for her raw honesty and fearless advocacy. After being diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2016, Achea transformed her pain into purpose, founding Rooted with Redd Coaching, where she helps clients heal, reclaim their voice, and reconnect with the Divine within.
www.achearedd.com
IG @achearedd
