By Elif Köse for Confidence Magazine
This year, I’ve sat in many rooms, circles, gatherings, conversations that moved me to my core.
Each one looked different, yet beneath them all was the same heartbeat: women remembering their power.
What struck me most wasn’t how inspiring everyone was, though they were, but how deeply human we all still are.
The same women who are out there building, creating, and leading with compassion are also navigating wounds, shadows, and moments of comparison. Myself included.
We speak of empowerment, and we mean it.
But sometimes, in the quiet moments after the applause, I see how easily we still slip into stories that disconnect us, stories of judgment, competition, or silent resentment.
It’s not because we’re unkind. It’s because we’re still learning to understand what empowerment truly means.
For years, I used to say, “communication is the key to every relationship.”
But now I know it isn’t. Comprehension is.
You can speak your truth clearly, beautifully, even bravely, but if the person on the other end isn’t ready to hear you, the words fall into an echo chamber of misunderstanding. And I see this everywhere: in families, workplaces, friendships, even among women who are otherwise devoted to lifting each other up. We think we’re listening, but often we’re preparing to respond. We think we’re connecting, but sometimes we’re comparing. True connection doesn’t come from talking more; it comes from understanding deeper.
When Empowerment Misses the Mark
Recently, I found myself in a space where I had invested my time, marketing budget, energy, and heart in the spirit of collaboration, believing that collective effort is how we rise.
But instead of appreciation or acknowledgement, I was met with dismissal.
I realised in that moment how easy it is for people to speak of empowerment yet act from scarcity. How kindness can be mistaken for weakness.
It hurt, yes, but it also revealed something far more powerful. I saw, with new clarity, that those who operate from lack cannot recognise abundance when it stands before them. Their actions are not a reflection of my worth, but of their unhealed relationship with their own.
And so, I chose not to shrink or harden. Instead, I turned that experience into a mirror, one that reminded me why I do this work. True sisterhood isn’t about who claps for you when you’re on stage; it’s about who holds integrity when no one is watching.
To the women still leading from fear or control: I see you. And I hope one day you’ll see yourselves clearly enough to lead with love. Because compassion doesn’t make us naïve, it makes us free.
Then Comes The Drama Diet
Lately, I’ve noticed how easily people feed on drama, how the collective nervous system seems addicted to outrage, gossip, and judgment. It’s almost as if we need a hit of chaos to feel alive.
But what if we started feeding on peace instead? What if the stories we shared weren’t about who said what, but about what we learned, how we healed, or how we grew?
Because here’s the truth I keep returning to:
Nothing happens to us; everything happens for us.*
Every conflict, every misunderstanding, every ending, it all carries medicine.
But we can’t receive it if we’re still obsessed with who’s right or wrong.The lesson only reveals itself when we choose comprehension over reaction, compassion over control, and curiosity over certainty.
I believe there’s a quiet revolution unfolding, not on stages or in headlines, but in hearts.
It’s the revolution of women who are tired of pretending, tired of pleasing, tired of proving.
We’re beginning to see that empowerment isn’t a performance. It’s not the loudest voice in the room. It’s the woman who can sit in discomfort, see her reflection in another’s pain, and choose to understand rather than judge.
That’s what truth looks like.
It’s not perfect. It’s not polished. It’s present.
So here’s where I stand now.I no longer match energy, I protect mine. I no longer chase inclusion in spaces that confuse presence for power. And I no longer stay silent when I see women treating each other from fear instead of love.
Because sisterhood built on scarcity isn’t sisterhood at all, it’s survival.And I choose something higher.
I choose to build in truth, to lead with compassion, and to collaborate with women who understand that kindness is not currency, it’s character.
The world doesn’t need more women pretending to support each other.
It needs more women who actually do. And that begins with you, with me, and with every one of us who decides that love, not ego, is the legacy we leave behind.
Pull-Out Quotes
“You can communicate endlessly, but without comprehension, truth never lands.”
“Kindness isn’t weakness, it’s the loudest declaration of strength.”
“I no longer match energy, I protect mine.”
Front Cover Strap Line
The Return to Truth:
When communication isn’t enough and why comprehension, compassion, and consciousness are the real keys to connection.
Content Page Blurb
After a season of women’s gatherings and conversations on empowerment, Confidence Magazine founder Elif Köse shares her most honest reflection yet. In this deeply human essay, she opens up about the lessons hidden behind disappointment and why real sisterhood begins with comprehension, not competition.
Photographer Credit: Henry HU

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