Confidence Isn’t Loud. Sometimes It’s Held

For a long time, I thought confidence belonged to other people, the ones who were bold, outspoken, and seemed certain in every room. That wasn’t my experience.

My confidence was forged in quieter, harder spaces: being a single parent with three children, parenting a child struggling with their mental health, navigating complex systems, advocating endlessly, and trying to hold my own life together. In those moments, confidence wasn’t about appearing strong. It was about showing up, even when everything felt overwhelming.

There were times when my voice felt diminished. Not because I lacked insight or strength, but because constantly explaining and pushing can wear anyone down. I didn’t feel confident. I felt drained.

“True confidence doesn’t need to be loud. Sometimes it’s simply the courage to show up, be vulnerable and be seen.”

What changed everything was being seen, heard, and understood. Sitting with other parents and carers who “got it” without explanation reminded me that my experience mattered, that my voice was valid. Confidence, I realised, isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet, patient, and relational. It grows when we are believed, supported, trusted and seen.

That understanding now shapes both my charity work and consultancy practice. Through founding Holding Space, an award winning charity, and working with organisations on parent and carer support and changing workplace culture, I see how confidence and resilience are deeply connected to the environments we inhabit. Workplaces and communities that nurture psychological safety, compassion and trust allow people to show up fully. When those elements are missing, confidence can’t survive no matter how capable someone is.

Being the face of confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers. For me, it means standing in what I know, leading with integrity, and trusting the value of lived experience. It means showing up as you are, even when that feels vulnerable, and allowing support from others and from communities to strengthen you.

If you’re a parent reading this and quietly wondering if it’s just you, I want you to know it isn’t. I’ve been there, feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and unsure where to turn while trying to support a child who is struggling. For a long time, I carried that weight alone.

That is why I founded Holding Space, a safe space for parents to connect, to be heard, seen and understood, without any judgement. It’s also why I created The Parent Lounge, an online community to come together, chat, cry, laugh, breathe and just be yourself. You don’t need to have the right words. You don’t need to be the perfect parent. You are amazing. You are unique. You are valued.